When Emotion Attacks Our Desire To Lose Weight

So, I just had a break down.  Not a real obvious one… in fact, my “major” breakdowns are pretty internal.  I look “fine” on the outside… but inside I’m FREAKING OUT.  I can usually even pretend that everything’s fine… but I start noticing that I don’t WANT to do anything good for me.

You know what I’m talking about right?  Like - all of the sudden you want to do anything that’s not healthy.  ANYTHING.  It seems to feel better… to eat crappy food.  To skip a workout.  To lounge on the couch eating junk food.  It all just feels - right…. easy… comfortable.  And when it happens to me - I KNOW there’s something going on with my emotions.  I don’t feel happy.  I feel like any second, I just might lose it!

Have you ever been there??  I’ll be honest - I’m so there - right now!  I’m just having an emotional crisis, and it’s making me do all kinds of unhealthy things.  I skipped my workout this morning… I had Diet Dr Pepper and a breakfast burrito for breakfast… I haven’t had a single drop of water yet today.  Ugh.  These are NOT healthy things to do… but I purposely, intentionally did all of them.  And, still, even as I type this - I know I need to get some water… and I don’t want to!

This is what happens with us as women sometimes when our emotions overwhelm us.  It’s sooo hard to see past the emotion and just delve into life doing what we know we need to do.  It’s so much easier to “treat” the emotion by jumping into comfort food - depriving ourselves of anything healthy, like water & exercise - and just pretend like everything is fine.

Do you know what I think is happening when we go that route?  I think we are telling ourselves - subconsciously of course - that we are not WORTH taking a good look at why we’re feeling down.  We’re not WORTH healthy food or plenty of water.  We’re not WORTH getting up and taking care of our bodies by exercising.

It’s so easy for us as women to put ourselves last.  We take care of everyone else… we work so hard to make sure our families are taken care of… our friends know that we love them… our customers are happy.  But we don’t treat ourselves the same way!

And worse yet… when we have a bad emotional day… instead of taking a good hard look at the emotion and really allowing ourselves to fully FEEL what we’re feeling… we pretend that we’re find and just avoid anything that could be good for us.

We STUFF ourselves with crap - whether it’s food that we know is toxic to our body and will make us gain weight… or TV shows that we’re watching not because we enjoy them, but because we just don’t want to THINK about what we’re feeling… or maybe (and this one is what I tend to do) it’s a mindless solitaire game on your (my!) cell phone that we play over and over again so we can just not think about anything.

And THEN - on top of ALL OF THAT - we beat ourselves up for it!!!  We first ignore our emotions, and try to just avoid feeling them… then we abuse our bodies and minds to continue avoiding our emotions… and then we become our worst enemy and start feeling all kinds of guilt, and hopelessness, and defeat because of that place we find ourselves in.

You’ve heard that inner voice, haven’t you?  “Ugh.  You skipped your workout AGAIN.  You know you’re not going to stick with it this time… you’re a failure, and you’re only pretending you can succeed this time.”

Those words that we fear to hear the most are the ones that pop up when we’re in this emotionally wrecked place.  We hear all kinds of nasty, mean, brutal words… and we believe them.  Because we’ve done everything to prove it right - we skipped workouts, ate crappy foods all day, and didn’t even WANT to do anything good for ourselves.  Why wouldn’t we believe we’re failures when all the signs show us we are?

Today is one of those days for me.  It’s only 12:13PM, and I’ve already made the WORST decisions for weight loss.  I’ve NOT taken care of myself.  And this has been going on for about a week.  And about 30 minutes ago, I was ready to give up.  I felt like such a FAILURE… a hopeless woman who couldn’t, after all, make this work.

I felt like such a fraud.  How could I be a role model to other women trying to lose weight when I can’t even do it myself?

A good friend of mine asked me, “Who do you need to be right now to be a role model for women losing weight?”

My first thought was… “I need to be stronger.  I need to be eating healthy, and getting over these emotions!”

Then it hit me.  I don’t need to be stronger… I need to be HONEST.  Other women need to see people like me… women who are committed to weight loss and an active, healthy lifestyle… freaking out and losing it.  You need to see that I have bad days - weeks, even - and that it’s perfectly normal.

You need to see me battle these feelings of “I’m a failure” and come out on the other side knowing I’m not a failure - I’m a woman.

And guess what?  That prompted me to write this post… and this dose of honesty has been incredibly healing for me.  It’s okay, it’s normal, to have days when you bomb out and do everything wrong.  That’s life - we hit blocks sometimes that make us do all the wrong things.

The KEY - the big thing to know - is that as soon as you are HONEST with yourself about what you’re feeling… and you don’t AVOID those emotions… you will begin to come out of the negative place you’re in.

Honesty is the number one key.  Honesty with yourself.  So if you’re having a bad day… close your eyes and really let yourself FEEL everything you’re feeling.  Don’t hold back.  Let the emotion flow.  And once you’ve let yourself experience all of it… then take a deep breath, and give yourself permission to feel what you feel.  It’s one moment, not a lifetime.

And then imagine other women who all want to lose weight - all around the world - who feel the same way you do.  Women like me.  Women who LOVE exercising.  Thin women.  Sexy women.  Beautiful, enchanting, confident women who are all having a bad day and just want to pull the covers over their head and ignore the entire world.

And know that you’re in that group with all the rest of us.  YOU are a beautiful, sexy, enchanting, confident woman.  YOU are everything you want to be.  And it’s okay to have a bad day.  Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Go get some water, take a deep breath, and just relax and experience your emotions.  And never, ever forget what a beautiful person you are, and that the journey you are on includes some downhill emotions.

Skinny jeans don’t automatically wash away scary, negative emotions.  It’s your job as a confident, healthy woman to let yourself FEEL all of those emotions, and call that “failure” voice out as a LIE.  We would never talk to your best friend that way… and yet we talk that way to ourselves.

No MORE.  Talk to yourself with loving, accepting words.  Give yourself a BIG internal hug, let yourself cry, and encourage yourself.

You’re beautiful, and so am I.  Thank you for letting me walk on this journey with you.