Losing Weight: A Result, Or A Goal?

This is a personal email I shared with one of my best friends.  I shared some great thoughts in the email, and thought you might like to read it.  My passion is that all of us, myself included, learn to “listen” actively & consistently to the thin person inside of us… that person is radiant, happy, purposeful, and healthy - and our bodies will reflect the action we take to nurture our thin self!

==============================
My personal email, to my beautiful friend Dawn:

Weight gain is a scary thing - it taps into the worst parts of our fears about failure, our appearance, our identity.  I want you to know that I understand, and have a lot of compassion for your fears.  The feelings that come over you when you try to find something your closet and nothing fits; the feelings that come up when you’re invited to a swim party & know you don’t want to ’subject’ anyone to your body; the feelings you have when you step on the scale and see yet another increase in your weight.
 

It’s all alot to deal with, and I’m sure taps into your self-worth & valuing yourself.  We’ve become desperate to lose the weight, because we fear that we’re a failure, unattractive, undesirable, and inadequate if we don’t. 


And that just makes me want to wrap my arms around you and tell you how beautiful you are!  If your body were never to change - or even if it were to get larger - I (and many other people) would continue to love you, value you, believe in you, respect you, and draw inspiration from you - just as I believe you would for me.  Your significance in this world is not tied to your weight - but to your spirit.
 

I know that you know all of that, and it might be entirely not necessary for where you are now; but I just want to reinforce to you that you have a network of people around you who do not measure your worth in pounds.  I’m not looking at you thinking what a screw-up you are because you lost weight and gained it all back.
 

You are not the same person you were years ago, even though the weight might be the same.  Your body doesn’t even look the same.  Each method you tried to lose weight taught you things that put you into a journey that you’re continuing today.  YOU are not a weight loss success or failure; your weight loss efforts to this point were just part of your journey, not part of you.
 

My vision for each of us is that we can fully accept ourselves - love our bodies - if not how they look, how they function.  Speak with wonder & gratitude about what our bodies do, and how intricate they are, and how amazing it is to have the unique body that frames our spirit.
 

Why?  Not so that we can wallow in pounds that we don’t need.  But because the more we love our bodies; the more we appreciate our bodies; the more we love our spirit - the more we appreciate the gift our life brings to other people - the more we’ll want to invest into our bodies, into our spirit, into our emotion.
 

We’ll find it easier to eat spinach salad along with whatever we’re eating for lunch, because we want to take care of our organs, our body, our mind.
 

Instead of being desperate to lose weight so that we can finally meet some ideal that we’ve created in our heads, we’ll lose weight because of the investments we’re making.
 

I’m including myself as a receiver of these words.  I’ve lived far too long with a mindset of ‘If only I could achieve this, then I would be happy’ instead of ‘How can I be happy right now, truly happy - that creates long term happiness too?’  I really want to invest in my mind, spirit & body becoming thin & healthy from the inside out.
 

If I stay at the weight I’m at for years, with flabby arms and a stomach pooch and definitely NOT swimsuit ready, I’m choosing to be okay with that as long as I’m investing where I need to.  Into bike rides that make me feel refreshed & invigorated by nature; and food that makes my digestion move better and gives me energy and still enjoying pleasurable foods without the scarfing, binging, or overeating; and words that move my spirit and make me believe in myself, and know that I have a special purpose here that I can fulfill as I continue to invest in the right places.


And somehow, I know that as I continue to invest in these things, the weight will continue to fall off of me.
 

Ultimately, I’m just here loving you and ready to support you however I can.
 

We ARE skinny people on the inside.  We’ve dipped (at least I have) in and out of being thin mentally and overweight mentally, and that’s why my body reflects that.  But we have a thin version of us inside - and I’m loving finding my way to hear that Bethany more often.
 

I know it’s a roller coaster ride.  Some days we feel great about our choices, about our mindset.  Some days we crater and act like an overweight person.
 

It’s a journey - and I’m thankful to be on it with you.