Do you ever feel like the biggest failure ever alive…
…because of something you ate that you shouldn’t have…
…because you skipped a workout, when you totally had time & energy to do it…
…or maybe just because you can’t find something to wear that fits?
If so… know that you’re not alone.
I know how it feels to feel so bad about decisions I’ve made… to feel so bad about myself… that I just feel like a failure.
Can I tell you a secret?
I have a mistake… a temptation… that I give in to all too often.
It goes something like this:
I have a healthy lunch… and I’m feeling great about it. And as I head back home, I see the big Starbucks sign.
And then… before I know it, I’ve just pulled in and ordered a Caramel Frappucino… sometimes with extra syrup to make it sweeter!
And then I tack on an Apple Fritter just for the heck of it… even though I know the dairy will upset
my stomach and the sugar will make me crave more sugar and the whole experience makes me want to eat more.
This is my frequent tempation, in vivid detail, one I have succumbed to all too often.
What’s yours? Or what’s your most recent mistake that you felt really, really bad about doing?
Did you feel the same way I feel after my Starbucks treat?
- Lethargic
- Bloated
- Cramping
- Full
- Fat
- Guilty
- Disappointed
- FAILURE
If so… I hope you know by me sharing all of this… that you are NOT alone.
The big secret to our success, though, is NOT learning how to not make mistakes!
I know it sounds funny… but the key to being successful is learning to trust our mistakes to lead us straight to our goal.
See - we all make mistakes… and when we learn how to harness the power of those mistakes - we hit GOLD!
So here’s the BIG secret technique to do when you’ve just made a mistake and feel lousy about it:
Ask yourself WHY you did it.
See… in knowing WHY we did something… we find power!
And the WHY is usually so much deeper than our first response.
“Why did I get coffee & a fritter?”
My first response might be, “because it sounded good.”
But if I keep asking WHY… I get to the bottom of things.
“Why did it sound good?”
“Because I felt like something was missing… a treat, something sweet.”
“Why did I feel like something was missing?”
“Because I felt like lunch wasn’t fun because it was healthy… and I miss feeling like I’m treating myself to something I enjoy.”
And there it is!
I’m missing out on a vital ingredient in my life…
Treating myself to a pleasurable gift to myself!
See how a mistake can become a powerful learning tool?
Because I now understand that I’m feeling neglected in the sense of “treats” and “treating myself”… I can choose to treat myself in a way that supports my goals.
I can buy myself that awesome new fiction book that I haven’t felt like I had time to
read.
I can treat myself to a pedicure.
I can treat myself to a cup of hot tea, curled up on my favorite chair, reading that new novel, staring at my newly painted toes… and just relish in a “stolen” moment from the day.
And the best part is… if that method of treating myself doesn’t quite cut it - if I still don’t feel “treated” enough…
I can keep looking for new, special, treat-filled moments that keep satisfying that need I have.
Today - I challenge you… think about the most recent mistake you made with your goals
to a thin, radiant body…
…and then think about the powerful lesson you can learn from it.
And then share that lesson in a comment below!
See, by sharing your insight about your mistake & what you learn from it, and how it’s going to help you in the future, you do three things:
1. You make it easier to forgive yourself for making the mistake by sharing the mistake & how it helped you
2. You help other people just like you realize that they are not alone… and you help them turn feelings of failure after a mistake into feelings of empowerment and hope!
3. This is the big one: by sharing what you learn, you actually learn it better!
That’s right… by telling other people about your mistake and how you’re going to use the lesson in it to bring you closer to your goals… you actually impress that solution on your mind…
It’s like by teaching, you learn!
So leave a comment below, and share your insight!
To your radiant self,
Bethany
5 comments ↓
. . .there must be something in that Java Chip Ice Cream from Starbucks, right? I know I’m not alone in eating the whole dang pint at a sitting. .I am grateful that they have gone from quarts to pints - that was a gift. Well - there I was on a healthy flow - in the sweet, nourishing rhythm of my meditation, yoga, walking, a little ‘livingroom dancing ‘ here and there in my day,eating even more greens morning (thanks to your series Bethany -), noon, and night as an experiment. . . . .all great. Hmm…..now, in hindsight, I didn’t pick up on the - actually insidious, mounting waft of stress in feeling pressure from juggling about 6 projects - ah the angst in perfectionism, perhaps seeing it as kindred to a yeast infection would help. Anyway…didn’t I just creatively get around the risk of eating the whole pint of Java Chips from Starbucks for a second week in a row, by coming up with the idea of making small ice cream sandwiches with those thin chocolate wafer cookies. . . .so for me the reality of recuperation from this is about 3 - 4 weeks. I so puff right up with dairy & sugar. Blast. I am reminded of my Mother who pretty much always stayed in great shape right up until she passed over at 95 - one time while visiting I checked in her freezer for ice cream for dessert one evening, and she put her hand up, pursed her lips, and nodded a compassionate smile saying, ” I can not keep ice cream in the house. Just can’t. . . .I eat it.” I am clear - I can not afford a four week stint of recuperation. The older you get; the longer the process takes. I am also keenly more aware of how the cream and sugar affect my clarity in thinking, in attitude, and ability to accomplish things, and I’m more sensitive-fuzzier emotionally. Lesson for me this time - seeing the craving. . . seeing it like I do the craving to scratch a mosquito bite…..you know that ultimately that scratching is going to take you to nowhere. . .so hands up in the air, breathe deeply - move those thoughts elsewhere…do not scratch. The urge goes fairly quickly that way. . . . to our radiant be-ings ! Aaiyn.
I listen too much to what is good and bad and end up losing weight and getting weaker and weaker.
In the end my body cant digest anything well and I lie in bed with pain,alone ,crying and trying to find a way to get better again.There is too much emphasis on health and body,you are beautiful when you live and love .Wemust not forget what life is about.
Nobody loves you more when you are perfect on the contrary.I must trust my own body and fill my life with light and love.
I like to go every weekend and purchase ALL my organic fruits, veggies, and meats for the following week.. so I am not starving and wondering what the heck do I eat tonight… Then, the grapefruit for breakfast is there, the organic turkey salad is there for lunch and for dinner sometimes organic brown rice with steamed fish or more organic meat for dinner. And all those fabulous fruits and veggies are there for juicing in the mid day. My stomach is sooooo loving me these days.. really.
I will be honest with you and say I cannot remember the last time I FARTED!!! That is AWESOME! That is when you know you are eating for love.. .love of your body and loving being in your body and loving the feeling of your body…
When I go out for dinner I really enjoy the San Pelligrino instead of the WINE or Alcohol chic drink and sometimes for fun I ask for a splash of cranberrie juice in it… soooo refreshing!! And then everybody wants what I have ordered… The most amazing thing is fresh coconut water straight from the coconut and those are sold all over the place….
and when I am tempted to eat anything bad,… I now only eat 1/2 of it instead of the whole portion. Just the taste of it is great and satisfying. Not pounding the whole thing down.
Sometimes I like to think … what the heck would MADONNA eat? She must eat truly healthy and look at the body on her at 50 years old? When I don’t want to work out I think of all the people who are working out to maintain that hot sexy body and I just put the shoes on and go.
I like to think of myself as a leader but sometimes you need a little inspiration and motivation of an image of someone who has done it and doing it to keep you focused.
When I do eat a treat I like to eat something very simple like blueberries and raspberries and black berries with a scoop of vanilla or chocolate ice cream… I have asked for that in restaurants and in room service while traveling … it is actually better for you than a donut or pastry or chocolate bar…. less sugar and you don’t have to eat all the ice cream but you thoroughly enjoyed fabulous fresh berries ….so it is part devil and part divine…and honestly… I enjoy the berries as much as the ice cream.
Yes, cheating is fabulous and naughty … and treating ourselves is glorious… I enjoy reading that there are many ways to treat ourselves other than with food…. and you can lead your friends into thinking and acting that way.. be a revolutionary… and be the change you want to see… and low and behold people will follow YOU instead of you following their ways.
Just thoughts.
KiKi in Canada.
These are great, great comments! I love it that you were willing to share with others what you’ve learned yourself. Aaiyn - “Breathe deeply” is something you added at the end… and it’s so key! Breathing is one of the best ways to deal with any temptation, stress, craving, or negative thought pattern. And sugar & caffeine are so addictive…way to go for sharing your experience! It’s freeing, isn’t it?
Erna… your thoughts were beautiful. Life truly is about love… loving ourselves, our bodies, and others. Learning to ACT intentionally from a place of love, rather than REACTING without thinking about it, from a place of fear & negative habits. Thank you!
KiKi, I loved your practical ideas for desserts & drinks! The berries with ice cream sounds amazing, and it’s a great way to get a treat in with some healthy benefits.
You girls ROCK and I’m glad to hear from you!
I have probably tried 20 diets that never worked longer than a few weeks. The most frustrating one was the atkins diet. I could have all the food from the list which included meat and dairy products too. I gained at least 20 pounds from that one diet. I and never want to go on a diet like that again.
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