Get in your sexy jeans and stay in them forever!

Have you ever seen a picture or an advertisement for junk food and found yourself suddenly DESPERATE to taste it or something like it immediately?  You know… where you just can’t wait to find something, anything, to give you that warm fuzzy feeling of delicious comfort food, filling your mouth and making you feel INCREDIBLE in the process…. know what I mean?

Tonight, I logged into my Facebook account to see what was going on with everyone.  While my friends’ updates loaded, I glanced over to the advertisements on the right and noticed a picture of a gooey piece of chocolate cake with fudge icing dripping down the sides of the cake.

Don’t even ask me what the ad was for… all I saw was the cake!

Anyway, immediately I wanted some cake.  I CRAVED it.

Ever been there?

I certainly was a few minutes ago!

So what did I do, you might ask…?

I simply became aware of how I talked to myself about the cake.

I realized that when I looked at the cake, the words that popped in my mind instantly were, “Mmmmm… yummy!  That looks sooo good…”

I didn’t even register that it was cake… that it was chocolate cake with fudge icing… I spoke to myself about that dessert in terms of how my idea of it would make me feel.  As soon as I heard myself thinking that, I took a step back and asked myself WHY.  Asking WHY is a fantastic first step in course correcting… and tonight I did just that starting with that single one-word question.

“Why am I looking at the cake and thinking of words to describe it before I even process what it is and how much I would really like it right now?” I asked myself.

I looked at the next ad… a picture of a woman smiling.  Did I think, “Oh, happy!  Fun, stress-free, enjoying life… that’s awesome!”  No, of course not… I thought, “Woman - smiling.  Pretty teeth!”  And yet, with the cake, I didn’t think about WHAT it was… I thought about what it would hypothetically make me FEEL.

Then I looked back at the cake.  This time, after realizing what I had done, I looked at the cake and thought, “Chocolate cake.  No nutrition.  Sweet flavor - lots of sugar… that icing looks rich!  That would be really tasty - I know I’d enjoy the flavor for a bite or two… but it’s really not worth it.”

The cravings instantly switched with my perspective.

See, what happened is that the first time I looked at the picture of the cake, I saw it in terms of what it could do for me.  I saw it as a comfort, a delight, an emotionally fulfilling intangible idea.  I thought of it in terms of “yummy”, “delicious”, and “I need that” (notice my thoughts were “I need that” and not “I need some chocolate cake“.

I was communicating with my emotions only, and all logic was gone - but I didn’t even know it at first!

When I took a step back, and looked at the picture logically, the words I associated with it were “tasty”, “sugar”, “calories”, “rich”, “no nutrients”, and “not worth it”.

It’s not the reality of how delicious the cake would be that changed, but rather that my perspective changed. 

Every decision we make is based on a story we tell ourselves.  In the first moment I looked at the picture, the story in my mind was, “OH!  I NEED things like this delicious chocolate cake… it makes me happy and fulfilled, and I KNOW it’s amazingly perfect in every way.”

The second time I looked at the cake, the story in my head was different.  I came from a position of power, and the story line in my head was more like, “What is this cake really?  What’s in it?  What would it really taste like?  How would it make me feel?  Would it be worth it to enjoy some right now if I had it?  I don’t really need it, I just enjoy the flavor sometimes.  I’m going to evaluate it and see if I want to make that decision.”

In the first moment, the cake held the power over me… or the picture of the cake did.  It told ME what I needed.  In the second look, I held the power.  I know what I need, and the picture became what it is in reality - a picture of something that I may or may not want.

So next time you see junk food, call it what it is.  It’s an inanimate, non-emotional substance that you may or may not put into your mouth.  You don’t need it, and it’s not love, joy, family, social life, connectedness, or happiness.  It’s FOOD.  And it’s gonna come out of your body, and leave in its wake a trail of health that will support your health & weight goals, or it will leave a trail of JUNK for your body to work hard trying to clean up.

Sometimes it’s worth it.  Sometimes it’s just fun to enjoy a little bit of something that isn’t all that healthy… just because you are treating yourself.  But make sure you look at it for what it is… junk food.  Non-nutrients.  A delicious flavor that you’d like to enjoy, but you really don’t need and are fully empowered to walk away from.

And then, carry through with your choice confidently.  Immerse yourself in the flavors you chose to enjoy slowly, savoring every moment and stopping when it’s no longer pleasurable (your body has a way of telling you when it’s full of the stuff it doesn’t need - eat slowly enough to make sure you hear it!).

Or if you choose to walk away, walk away confidently… knowing that anytime you want, you can choose to put something in your mouth.  You’re not depriving yourself… you’re making conscious choices.  And that’s where the power is!

When it comes to working on losing body fat… the biggest problem I hear about is “I just can’t stay motivated.”

And in my own life… that’s certainly true!

In fact, this spring I moved to a new city… and to be honest, I haven’t been motivated at all to work on taking care of my body since I moved.

It just seemed… too hard.

I kept telling myself,

“I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.”

“I’ll go grocery shopping & start eating at home next week.”

“I’m going to start training to do a sprint triathlon next year.”

“I’m going to work on drinking more water today.”

Do you see the common word in every single sentence?

GO.

This is a crucial word… and most people are absolutely clueless about it’s significance.

Why is it so important?

Because “GO” is work.  “GO” is effort.

“GO” requires the conscious movement away from one area and into another.

It’s the easiest way to identify excuses & rationalization… because it’s always somehow too hard to do right now!

Next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m going to ” change the words in your mind to “I am”. 

Instead of “I’m going to drink more water today”… say, “I am drinking more water today.”

Instead of “I’m going to go to the gym today,” say “I’m on my way to the gym now,” or “I’m adding time for the gym to my calendar now.”

Remove the “go” or “going” from the sentence, and just take action to DO something.

Let’s practice a few more:

Instead of “I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow”, use “I’m making a grocery list right now.”

Instead of “I’m going to eat a healthy lunch today,” use “I’m looking forward to a spinach salad & that seasoned grilled salmon that I really enjoy for lunch today.”

By focusing on the action we can take right NOW instead of where we should GO later… we create momentum - and momentum creates motivation!
To your radiance,
Bethany

 
PS - What kind of problems are YOU facing
with motivation? 

I really care about what you’re going through
and want to hear from YOU personally.

Send me an email at
bethany@loseweightstayskinny.com.

I’m here for you!

I have a confession to make… and a question to ask. But before I get to that…

You might have heard or read before that colonics are a great thing to incorporate into your efforts for losing weight. My take on that is a little different… I don’t like the mentality of “colonics for weight loss” myself… just because I fear that people (myself included) might tend to rely on colonics as a way to ditch a few pounds and stop focusing on healthy eating.

I do believe, however, that colonics is a FANTASTIC thing to include in a healthy lifestyle… and the plus is that you sometimes do lose a few pounds of waste that’s been trapped in your colon! (This is especially true if you’re having a colonic treatment done for the first time.)

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the phrase “Death starts in the colon” - and that’s a pretty dark thing to say - but the reality is that so many toxins get trapped in our bodies and never get expelled. From this, we are prone to infections & disease and the spread of toxins that affect our health, energy, weight & longevity.

Now for my confession:

Despite everything I know about colonics, I’ve never had the treatment done! Now, this used to be the case because I lived in a small city where I didn’t have a trustworthy resource for doing colonics treatments.

NOW however… I live in the Austin, Texas area… and healthy resources abound here. To further establish that I have absolutely no excuse…

…My husband just went to get a colonics treatment!

So I need to let you know… I’m writing this post for two reasons. First, to share the value of colonics with you. I do believe it’s a treatment we should each include in our lifestyle.

But more importantly… I needed some “mmmph” to help me get past the awkward discomfort and help me commit to this!

I’m scheduling my appointment today, so I can get this done. I fully expect, based on what I’ve read, to see my belly pooch reduced in size slightly, and possibly to lose a pound or two. (I’ll let you know what actually happens…)

I have to admit I’m a little nervous… it doesn’t sound like a glamorous, comfortable, or delightful experience.

But I believe it will improve the quality of my life - and I’m gonna do it!!

Now for the question: hopefully this little bit of personal information about me has prompted you to do some soul-searching in your own journey to your ideal, healthy, skinny & radiant body. What have you postponed doing, even though you KNOW you should do it… and you have the resources to do it?

It may be directly related to your health or weight loss, and it may not be… but I’d love to hear about it. My hope is that you are inspired to take action TODAY to take the steps you need to take.

You can do it!

Bethany

So, I’m just curious…

Have you ever wanted to take control of your health by cooking at home more often, but you just can’t seem to do it?

If so… you’re just like me!!!

I’ve said for a long time that I want to eat at home more often… but honestly, it’s so hard for me…

…I’m going to tell you a secret: I don’t know how to cook.

I literally follow a recipe to boil eggs!

And… as you know, it can be really difficult to find truly healthy food at a restaurant… and it’s pretty expensive, too…

… so you can imagine how excited I was to find out that one of the most respected experts I know put together a super-healthy cookbook… one that even I can use!

=> Healthy Cookbook

Now, some cookbooks are full of delicious food that is really great, but the recipes are tedious and hard to put together.

Not this one!

Rose Cole, the author of the cookbook and the expert who has helped change people’s bodies & lives for over 10 years, says this about herself:

“If I’m not careful, I’ll burn water!”

All of the recipes in her book are incredibly easy to make, and every single one is dairy & gluten free…

…meaning you get healthy, easy, fat-burning recipes!

=> Click Here To Take A Look

To your radiant self,
Bethany

P.S. This cookbook is digital - meaning you get access to the recipes immediately!

(That means you could use one of these super-healthy, pound-melting recipes for dinner tonight… how cool is that??)

Do you ever feel like the biggest failure ever alive…

…because of something you ate that you shouldn’t have…

…because you skipped a workout, when you totally had time & energy to do it…

…or maybe just because you can’t find something to wear that fits?

If so… know that you’re not alone.

I know how it feels to feel so bad about decisions I’ve made… to feel so bad about myself… that I just feel like a failure.

Can I tell you a secret?

I have a mistake… a temptation… that I give in to all too often.

It goes something like this:

I have a healthy lunch… and I’m feeling great about it. And as I head back home, I see the big Starbucks sign.

And then… before I know it, I’ve just pulled in and ordered a Caramel Frappucino… sometimes with extra syrup to make it sweeter!

And then I tack on an Apple Fritter just for the heck of it… even though I know the dairy will upset
my stomach and the sugar will make me crave more sugar and the whole experience makes me want to eat more.

This is my frequent tempation, in vivid detail, one I have succumbed to all too often.

What’s yours? Or what’s your most recent mistake that you felt really, really bad about doing?

Did you feel the same way I feel after my Starbucks treat?

- Lethargic
- Bloated
- Cramping
- Full
- Fat
- Guilty
- Disappointed
- FAILURE

If so… I hope you know by me sharing all of this… that you are NOT alone.

The big secret to our success, though, is NOT learning how to not make mistakes!

I know it sounds funny… but the key to being successful is learning to trust our mistakes to lead us straight to our goal.

See - we all make mistakes… and when we learn how to harness the power of those mistakes - we hit GOLD!

So here’s the BIG secret technique to do when you’ve just made a mistake and feel lousy about it:

Ask yourself WHY you did it.

See… in knowing WHY we did something… we find power!

And the WHY is usually so much deeper than our first response.

“Why did I get coffee & a fritter?”

My first response might be, “because it sounded good.”

But if I keep asking WHY… I get to the bottom of things.

“Why did it sound good?”

“Because I felt like something was missing… a treat, something sweet.”

“Why did I feel like something was missing?”

“Because I felt like lunch wasn’t fun because it was healthy… and I miss feeling like I’m treating myself to something I enjoy.”

And there it is!

I’m missing out on a vital ingredient in my life…

Treating myself to a pleasurable gift to myself!

See how a mistake can become a powerful learning tool?

Because I now understand that I’m feeling neglected in the sense of “treats” and “treating myself”… I can choose to treat myself in a way that supports my goals.

I can buy myself that awesome new fiction book that I haven’t felt like I had time to
read.

I can treat myself to a pedicure.

I can treat myself to a cup of hot tea, curled up on my favorite chair, reading that new novel, staring at my newly painted toes… and just relish in a “stolen” moment from the day.

And the best part is… if that method of treating myself doesn’t quite cut it - if I still don’t feel “treated” enough…

I can keep looking for new, special, treat-filled moments that keep satisfying that need I have.

Today - I challenge you… think about the most recent mistake you made with your goals
to a thin, radiant body…

…and then think about the powerful lesson you can learn from it.

And then share that lesson in a comment below!

See, by sharing your insight about your mistake & what you learn from it, and how it’s going to help you in the future, you do three things:

1. You make it easier to forgive yourself for making the mistake by sharing the mistake & how it helped you

2. You help other people just like you realize that they are not alone… and you help them turn feelings of failure after a mistake into feelings of empowerment and hope!

3. This is the big one: by sharing what you learn, you actually learn it better!

That’s right… by telling other people about your mistake and how you’re going to use the lesson in it to bring you closer to your goals… you actually impress that solution on your mind…

It’s like by teaching, you learn!

So leave a comment below, and share your insight!

To your radiant self,
Bethany

It’s no secret that all of us struggle with will power. We try so hard to watch our food choices, we try to keep an exercise routine… we work really hard to maintain whatever goals we set up.

And, if you’re anything like me, you probably fizzle out before too long. It’s sooooo hard to make changes in our lives, isn’t it?

There’s just something about those old habits that makes new, positive, good-for-you changes hard to stick to.

And then… if we’re not careful… we start beating up on ourselves. Wishing we’d done better. Feeling like a failure… wanting to be so much better of a person than we think we are, because we got off track… again.

Sound familiar?

Well… the truth is, will power will NEVER get you through and get you to stick to new habits! Will power is designed to be a momentary thrust of strength to get us across a finish line. A surge of commitment in the face of a singular challenge…. not an underlying, steady strength that develops new habits!

So how can we tap into that?

Use will power to power your way through decisions first thing in the morning, and build a new habit that way. I’m currently learning to drink a bottle of water first thing in the morning - literally before I do anything else.

What goes into that, and why do I do it?

I’m developing this habit for a few reasons. I heard about this concept from one of my mentors, and decided to give it a shot. What I found when I began drinking water first thing, is that my body felt immediately awake… hydrated, energized, empowered. And it makes sense - I’ve gone 8-9 hours without any hydration, so of course my body needs water.

The other thing I noticed is that when I start my day off by taking care of my body in that way, it makes it easier and more natural for me to be conscious of taking care of my body the rest of the day. Pretty cool, huh?

And the best part is that I just use a tiny bit of will power each morning, to make that decision to drink the water, and one day it’s just going to be second nature… a habit.

Use the morning hours to make a GREAT decision to take care of yourself! It could be meditating, and feeding your spirit… or drinking water, and feeding your body… or maybe it’s exercising, or taking a moment to “touch base with” and recognize your significance & value in the world.

Whatever it is… by using some will power to invest in yourself first thing in the morning, you’ll create a framework of taking care of yourself for the rest of the day… and you’ll build a habit that will contribute to your weight loss efforts, easily & naturally.

Yours for radiance & health,
Bethany

This is a personal email I shared with one of my best friends.  I shared some great thoughts in the email, and thought you might like to read it.  My passion is that all of us, myself included, learn to “listen” actively & consistently to the thin person inside of us… that person is radiant, happy, purposeful, and healthy - and our bodies will reflect the action we take to nurture our thin self!

==============================
My personal email, to my beautiful friend Dawn:

Weight gain is a scary thing - it taps into the worst parts of our fears about failure, our appearance, our identity.  I want you to know that I understand, and have a lot of compassion for your fears.  The feelings that come over you when you try to find something your closet and nothing fits; the feelings that come up when you’re invited to a swim party & know you don’t want to ’subject’ anyone to your body; the feelings you have when you step on the scale and see yet another increase in your weight.
 

It’s all alot to deal with, and I’m sure taps into your self-worth & valuing yourself.  We’ve become desperate to lose the weight, because we fear that we’re a failure, unattractive, undesirable, and inadequate if we don’t. 


And that just makes me want to wrap my arms around you and tell you how beautiful you are!  If your body were never to change - or even if it were to get larger - I (and many other people) would continue to love you, value you, believe in you, respect you, and draw inspiration from you - just as I believe you would for me.  Your significance in this world is not tied to your weight - but to your spirit.
 

I know that you know all of that, and it might be entirely not necessary for where you are now; but I just want to reinforce to you that you have a network of people around you who do not measure your worth in pounds.  I’m not looking at you thinking what a screw-up you are because you lost weight and gained it all back.
 

You are not the same person you were years ago, even though the weight might be the same.  Your body doesn’t even look the same.  Each method you tried to lose weight taught you things that put you into a journey that you’re continuing today.  YOU are not a weight loss success or failure; your weight loss efforts to this point were just part of your journey, not part of you.
 

My vision for each of us is that we can fully accept ourselves - love our bodies - if not how they look, how they function.  Speak with wonder & gratitude about what our bodies do, and how intricate they are, and how amazing it is to have the unique body that frames our spirit.
 

Why?  Not so that we can wallow in pounds that we don’t need.  But because the more we love our bodies; the more we appreciate our bodies; the more we love our spirit - the more we appreciate the gift our life brings to other people - the more we’ll want to invest into our bodies, into our spirit, into our emotion.
 

We’ll find it easier to eat spinach salad along with whatever we’re eating for lunch, because we want to take care of our organs, our body, our mind.
 

Instead of being desperate to lose weight so that we can finally meet some ideal that we’ve created in our heads, we’ll lose weight because of the investments we’re making.
 

I’m including myself as a receiver of these words.  I’ve lived far too long with a mindset of ‘If only I could achieve this, then I would be happy’ instead of ‘How can I be happy right now, truly happy - that creates long term happiness too?’  I really want to invest in my mind, spirit & body becoming thin & healthy from the inside out.
 

If I stay at the weight I’m at for years, with flabby arms and a stomach pooch and definitely NOT swimsuit ready, I’m choosing to be okay with that as long as I’m investing where I need to.  Into bike rides that make me feel refreshed & invigorated by nature; and food that makes my digestion move better and gives me energy and still enjoying pleasurable foods without the scarfing, binging, or overeating; and words that move my spirit and make me believe in myself, and know that I have a special purpose here that I can fulfill as I continue to invest in the right places.


And somehow, I know that as I continue to invest in these things, the weight will continue to fall off of me.
 

Ultimately, I’m just here loving you and ready to support you however I can.
 

We ARE skinny people on the inside.  We’ve dipped (at least I have) in and out of being thin mentally and overweight mentally, and that’s why my body reflects that.  But we have a thin version of us inside - and I’m loving finding my way to hear that Bethany more often.
 

I know it’s a roller coaster ride.  Some days we feel great about our choices, about our mindset.  Some days we crater and act like an overweight person.
 

It’s a journey - and I’m thankful to be on it with you.

During the past two calls of the eight week course Lose Weight, Stay Skinny, I’ve been paying close attention to what Jena La Flamme and Kyle Battis had to say.  The biggest thing I’ve gleaned from those two calls is the importance of finding things to do that you actually enjoy doing.

Think about it… if the exercise you’re doing is something you hate, how long do you think it will last?

Both Jena and Kyle talked about how crucial it is to find true pleasure in your life, and how important it is to find activities and ways to move your body that you really enjoy.

I’m starting to believe that this is the key to motivation and staying on track.

But what I’m starting to realize is that this change isn’t always easy to make.  I’ve realized, during these last two weeks, that I would really enjoy swimming at my gym, jogging with my dog, and bicycling.  The bigger realization is that I would enjoy this much more in the afternoon, rather than first thing in the morning.

First thing in the morning I’d rather walk over to a hill close by my house, sit on it, journal, and watch for any wildlife that might wander by.

At first, this all sounds great!  I’ve identified areas that I would enjoy… exercise that would fulfill me and keep me motivated.

The catch is that these things are outside of my normal habits, and they will require sacrifice.  I will have to leave during the late afternoon to exercise, when me and my family are used to eating dinner around 5 or so.  I will have to buy a bicycle, when neither me nor my husband were planning on buying a bicycle anytime soon.  I will have to wake up a little earlier than normal and put on walking clothes and leave before I get started on my day, so I have time to journal and enjoy nature before I start my day.

The other challenge is an emotional one for me - it feels “wrong” to take time in the morning to do something that is seemingly not productive.  I have to adjust to the idea of taking time for me first thing in the morning and not feeling guilty about it!

That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but when things are normally done one way, it can be pretty tough to shake things up and change things around.

Have you identified things that could be considered exercise that you would really enjoy doing?  Have you identified the possible conflicts or challenges with doing them that way?

The first key is definitely to pick the activities that you’d enjoy; then choose the time of day you’d enjoy them most; then identify the possible challenges and conflicts that will make you want to skip.

Once you have those, you can plan for the challenges… work with them so that they become easier to push through… and you can get started moving your body in a way it loves to move!

I’d love to hear from you on your own thoughts about this… motivation is a huge subject, and I’m sure so many people (including me) would benefit from hearing from you.

Happily,
Bethany

I’ve just moved into my new home in a different city, and I love it!  I’m in a bigger city - more choices and more variety.  And more health choices!  Restaurants, grocery shopping, fitness centers… you name it, there are more options here.

The only problem is that I’m in a slump.  I got out of my workout routine over the last couple of weeks with all of the moving craziness.

And I’ve been eating crap since January.  Why??  I ask myself that every day.

Why am I still driving to get breakfast burritos instead of making myself a bowl of oatmeal in the mornings?

Why haven’t I joined a gym yet?

Why am I drinking Diet Cokes instead of water?

I think the answer is a combination of comfort and low self esteem.  I would never call myself a person with low self esteem… I’ve worked for years on my inner confidence and the way I talk to myself.

But the truth is… I choose to let myself down day after day.  I choose to deprive myself of nutrition and choose fatty sodium filled processed foods rather than whole nutritious food.  And I do these things knowingly.

Could it be that the reason we women keep eating crap when we know we need nutrition is that we don’t think we deserve it?

I know - we’ve all heard that self-help stuff.  And if you’re like me, you think that’s not it at all.  But what is it then?  If you are anything like me… it’s this undefinable feeling… this something you just can’t put your finger on.

You just do it - well, because.  Because it’s easy and convenient and comfortable.

But when you KNOW those things are hurting you… making you gain weight… making you look FAT in your favorite clothes… and you do it ANYWAY… there’s a serious breakdown in how you treat yourself.

In how I treat MYSELF.

Today, right now… I forgive myself, first of all, for abusing my body and for not listening to my better judgment.  This is a journey, and I will not be angry with myself for being on a journey.

But I also commit to choosing to be loving to myself.  To make honest & supportive decisions for my body.  I’m afraid to make this commitment in writing… what if I let myself down?  But I will nonetheless.  Because I know that there is something I can do more than I currently am.  I can drink more water.

Or eat smaller portions of the processed crap I seem to be addicted to.

And I can say “NO” to that junk when I’m honest and brave and strong enough to do so.

And I can eat some whole fruits and vegetables for goodness sakes!

Heres to us - you & me - getting more loving and supportive with ourselves.

Sincerely & with truth and love,
Bethany

So, I just had a break down.  Not a real obvious one… in fact, my “major” breakdowns are pretty internal.  I look “fine” on the outside… but inside I’m FREAKING OUT.  I can usually even pretend that everything’s fine… but I start noticing that I don’t WANT to do anything good for me.

You know what I’m talking about right?  Like - all of the sudden you want to do anything that’s not healthy.  ANYTHING.  It seems to feel better… to eat crappy food.  To skip a workout.  To lounge on the couch eating junk food.  It all just feels - right…. easy… comfortable.  And when it happens to me - I KNOW there’s something going on with my emotions.  I don’t feel happy.  I feel like any second, I just might lose it!

Have you ever been there??  I’ll be honest - I’m so there - right now!  I’m just having an emotional crisis, and it’s making me do all kinds of unhealthy things.  I skipped my workout this morning… I had Diet Dr Pepper and a breakfast burrito for breakfast… I haven’t had a single drop of water yet today.  Ugh.  These are NOT healthy things to do… but I purposely, intentionally did all of them.  And, still, even as I type this - I know I need to get some water… and I don’t want to!

This is what happens with us as women sometimes when our emotions overwhelm us.  It’s sooo hard to see past the emotion and just delve into life doing what we know we need to do.  It’s so much easier to “treat” the emotion by jumping into comfort food - depriving ourselves of anything healthy, like water & exercise - and just pretend like everything is fine.

Do you know what I think is happening when we go that route?  I think we are telling ourselves - subconsciously of course - that we are not WORTH taking a good look at why we’re feeling down.  We’re not WORTH healthy food or plenty of water.  We’re not WORTH getting up and taking care of our bodies by exercising.

It’s so easy for us as women to put ourselves last.  We take care of everyone else… we work so hard to make sure our families are taken care of… our friends know that we love them… our customers are happy.  But we don’t treat ourselves the same way!

And worse yet… when we have a bad emotional day… instead of taking a good hard look at the emotion and really allowing ourselves to fully FEEL what we’re feeling… we pretend that we’re find and just avoid anything that could be good for us.

We STUFF ourselves with crap - whether it’s food that we know is toxic to our body and will make us gain weight… or TV shows that we’re watching not because we enjoy them, but because we just don’t want to THINK about what we’re feeling… or maybe (and this one is what I tend to do) it’s a mindless solitaire game on your (my!) cell phone that we play over and over again so we can just not think about anything.

And THEN - on top of ALL OF THAT - we beat ourselves up for it!!!  We first ignore our emotions, and try to just avoid feeling them… then we abuse our bodies and minds to continue avoiding our emotions… and then we become our worst enemy and start feeling all kinds of guilt, and hopelessness, and defeat because of that place we find ourselves in.

You’ve heard that inner voice, haven’t you?  “Ugh.  You skipped your workout AGAIN.  You know you’re not going to stick with it this time… you’re a failure, and you’re only pretending you can succeed this time.”

Those words that we fear to hear the most are the ones that pop up when we’re in this emotionally wrecked place.  We hear all kinds of nasty, mean, brutal words… and we believe them.  Because we’ve done everything to prove it right - we skipped workouts, ate crappy foods all day, and didn’t even WANT to do anything good for ourselves.  Why wouldn’t we believe we’re failures when all the signs show us we are?

Today is one of those days for me.  It’s only 12:13PM, and I’ve already made the WORST decisions for weight loss.  I’ve NOT taken care of myself.  And this has been going on for about a week.  And about 30 minutes ago, I was ready to give up.  I felt like such a FAILURE… a hopeless woman who couldn’t, after all, make this work.

I felt like such a fraud.  How could I be a role model to other women trying to lose weight when I can’t even do it myself?

A good friend of mine asked me, “Who do you need to be right now to be a role model for women losing weight?”

My first thought was… “I need to be stronger.  I need to be eating healthy, and getting over these emotions!”

Then it hit me.  I don’t need to be stronger… I need to be HONEST.  Other women need to see people like me… women who are committed to weight loss and an active, healthy lifestyle… freaking out and losing it.  You need to see that I have bad days - weeks, even - and that it’s perfectly normal.

You need to see me battle these feelings of “I’m a failure” and come out on the other side knowing I’m not a failure - I’m a woman.

And guess what?  That prompted me to write this post… and this dose of honesty has been incredibly healing for me.  It’s okay, it’s normal, to have days when you bomb out and do everything wrong.  That’s life - we hit blocks sometimes that make us do all the wrong things.

The KEY - the big thing to know - is that as soon as you are HONEST with yourself about what you’re feeling… and you don’t AVOID those emotions… you will begin to come out of the negative place you’re in.

Honesty is the number one key.  Honesty with yourself.  So if you’re having a bad day… close your eyes and really let yourself FEEL everything you’re feeling.  Don’t hold back.  Let the emotion flow.  And once you’ve let yourself experience all of it… then take a deep breath, and give yourself permission to feel what you feel.  It’s one moment, not a lifetime.

And then imagine other women who all want to lose weight - all around the world - who feel the same way you do.  Women like me.  Women who LOVE exercising.  Thin women.  Sexy women.  Beautiful, enchanting, confident women who are all having a bad day and just want to pull the covers over their head and ignore the entire world.

And know that you’re in that group with all the rest of us.  YOU are a beautiful, sexy, enchanting, confident woman.  YOU are everything you want to be.  And it’s okay to have a bad day.  Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Go get some water, take a deep breath, and just relax and experience your emotions.  And never, ever forget what a beautiful person you are, and that the journey you are on includes some downhill emotions.

Skinny jeans don’t automatically wash away scary, negative emotions.  It’s your job as a confident, healthy woman to let yourself FEEL all of those emotions, and call that “failure” voice out as a LIE.  We would never talk to your best friend that way… and yet we talk that way to ourselves.

No MORE.  Talk to yourself with loving, accepting words.  Give yourself a BIG internal hug, let yourself cry, and encourage yourself.

You’re beautiful, and so am I.  Thank you for letting me walk on this journey with you.